I am afraid: I feel so alone

Over the past few weeks, I have gone through some deep emotional waters. My kids have been sick. Presently, the doctors have not yet concluded what is wrong with my daughter. Initially it was supposed to be a case of HFMD that she contracted from her brother. But now, sigh, we don’t even know what is going on. My thoughts have been working overtime!

As a single mom, it has been hard, so very hard! Much harder than usual, I have found that I sometimes feel like I can’t cope. Crying solves nothing, only more crying. Praying is the hardest when I don’t know where to start. I know that the devil is trying to take my mind cause there are moments that I feel so confused. The worst part is that the one person who I thought would be here to support me, my friend, isn’t.

I feel so alone. I feel so very alone. I feel…nothing. I look around and my life looks nothing like I ever planned for it to be. I am nowhere near my dreams and I feel afraid. It is so hard to look back and there is nothing there. I look ahead and there is nothing I recognize. I look down and I see no ground to plant my feet and I feel very afraid. Fear is not of God, I know. But I really do feel afraid, for myself and for my kids. If I am not able to hold things together, then how can I hold us together. I am only encouraged to stay upbeat for my kids.

Lord, I am in this place where I can’t see you. I know that you are there but I am blind. I can’t see my way through the issues that I face. I don’t even know how to stop being anxious about waiting on You. I have been here for too long, Lord. Fear is getting the better of me. These days, I feel pain in places that use to be free and happy. That worries me. Am I being taken over by my fears?

I need you, Lord.

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About Cameile P. Graham

Cameile is a teacher by profession. She holds a Diploma in Teaching from the Bethlehem Moravian College (Credit) and a Bachelor of Science degree (Summa cum laude) from the University of Wisconsin-Whitewater (UW-W) with a minor in Philosophy Education. She has been a teacher for over 14 years serving at the Primary, Secondary and Post-secondary levels in education. Her experience has seen her supervising teams of excellence at the various levels. Developing and fostering team communication skills is her specialty. Cameile has received several awards for educational success from distinctions in professionalism, use of technology, methodology to the Rhona Anglin award for teaching practicum,BMC . The Dean's letter for academic term success,UW-W , added to the list of her accomplishments. Her greatest accomplishment is her children, Justin and Zoey. She is a single mom to both.
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5 Responses to I am afraid: I feel so alone

  1. The shadows is the place where God meets us. When we are vulnerable and needing him, when life sends us to our knees, we are in the perfect position to pray. David was in fear when he said most assuredly that ‘He leads me beside still waters’ and 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, ‘But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
    His strength is perfect. Glad I’m reading this after I’ve read of the good news that your baby girl is okay. Beng a mom of two young children means many of these anxious moments will be in your present and future until they are older. The Big Lesson every mom has had to learn is to trust God. He’s there, watching and protecting his own. If he takes you to it, he will take you through it.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s my prayer He grants you peace in the midst of troubling waters. Hold on

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It’s my prayer He grants you inner peace in the midst of troubling waters..

    Liked by 1 person

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